Who's pregnant?

We were in Oxford this weekend visiting my mom and enjoying the football festivities. There was a quilt show that my mom was involved with, so when Sara and I got into town we went to pick my mom up there. Some of her quilting friends were there and I think mom enjoyed showing off her (beautiful) daughters. We were introduced to one of her friends and she turns to me and says "So, how is the Rookie doing?" (as she reached for my stomach). Will I go to hell if I forcefully swatted an old lady's hand away? I quickly informed her that the Rookie was "over there", and pointed to my 8 MONTHS PREGNANT, BASKETBALL-CLEARLY-IN-THE-BELLY, SISTER!!!!! I mean, I know I've gained some sympathy weight, but 8 months' of baby worth? Sheesh, these old lady's kill me! If they're not informing me that I'm not married (yes, I know this) or that I should be in school if not married (cause you can either be in school or married), then they're calling me 8-month-prego fat to my face? Can a girl get a break? Just askin'.

The Space Between

I am wondering if this is just me or does anyone else do this? When I pull up to a red light and there cars in line in front of me, I leave enough space so that if I am carjacked I have room to maneuver. Anyone? The sad thing is I do it subconsciously. Is it just that I've lived in Jackson too long?

P.S. I love you......right now

I was watching P.S. I Love You tonight (yes Nik, I finally broke down and actually put the movie in the DVD player). There was this quote, and I literally laughed out loud!

Man: "That's why you're not married. Women act like men and then they complain men don't want them."

Woman: "Oh, is that why? Cause I thought it was something different. I thought it was because I thought I deserved the best. And he's out there...... he's just with all the wrong women....And let me be clear. After centuries of men looking at my tits instead of my eyes, and pinching my ass instead of shaking my hand....I now have the divine right to stare at a man's backside with vulgar, cheap appreciation if I want to!"

Just thought I'd share that with my favorite people. (and by "my favorite people", I mean the people who read my blog) I thought it was funny, but then again, I'm a single woman.

Double Standard

I know, ya'll think I'm gonna talk about the whole "why are guys that sleep with a bunch of girls 'playas', but girls......" da da da, you know the story. No. Not going there. I'm going to throw you a curve ball! (I went out on a date with a minor league umpire a couple of weeks ago. Sorry.) Don't you think it's funny (and by "funny", I mean not in the least funny. Not even a half smile. Like, if funny was a 100 on a scale of 1-100, this would be a -10. Sorry. Tangent) Anyway, don't you think it's "funny" (now that we've defined this) that it's "cute" when a guy expresses his feelings, but "crazy" when a girl does? Okay, what gives? I mean, guys WONDER why a girl gets the wrong impression when he's told her for months how he "needs someone strong like her to ground him". I'm just saying....Nope, not bitter at all.

Life DVR

I have DVR (aka TiVo). I feel like I may have owned this wonderful tool a little too long. Today, I was sitting on the couch watching TV. I happened to look out the window as a car drove by. I only caught the tail end of it, but thought I recognized it. I came about "this close" (picture my thumb and pointer finger ~1/2 mm apart) to pushing rewind on the DVR control so I could see the car again. Is this bad? I must get out more!!!!

To be scared, or not to be scared? That is the question

This is the text I got yesterday from the guy who cuts my yard: "Cut u 2morrow". Should I be worried? He's here now.

Thinking about you....

You know how supposedly when your ears burn, someone is thinking about you? Well, I've been working nights this past week. It seems like every morning when I get out of the shower and relax on the couch, my ears are burning! I get excited until I realize it's probably just some ugly, overweight guy........or my mom (not that I wouldn't want her thinking about me, just not burning ears-worthy).......or my dogs......I suck.

Old Hag

So I was on facebook doing those stupid quizzes. Well, one thing led to another and I hate to admit this, but I decided to try "What are the initials of the person you will marry?". Is it bad that when I clicked to take it, a message came up that said "connection problem - let windows diagnose the problem". Even Windows knows.....sad, really.

Reality

My friends who know me are aware that I love reality shows. And I'm not talking "Real World", "The Bachelor", "Survivor", etc. (the "good" stuff). I'm talking, SHIT reality. You all know what I'm talking about. "I Love of Money", "I Love New York", "Flavor of Love", and "A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila" (sadly, I could name many more). I realize that I seem too smart to watch this kind of crap, but I'm telling you.....it's captivating!!!!! Okay, I'll admit. It's more like a train wreck, but you know what I'm saying. I think I have met my match, though. Tonight was the debut of "My Antonio" on VH1. Seriously, I have seen some shit reality, but guys.......THIS IS HORRIBLE! I mean, so horrible I couldn't even finish it! (And I've seen some bad reality. Trust me.) My advice, don't waste brain cells. Reality has just met it's match.

32 and Single

So, I'm single. I was talking to some fellow co-workers and stating that I couldn't have a blog because I don't have a family (ie children) to blog about. Nikki told me I should create one since some of her favorites are by her single friends, so HERE I AM.

I was reading the book, "The Last Single Woman in America" recently. Appropriate? I thought so. I'll be honest, though. The book? Not so great. If any of you have taken any psych rotations the word I would use to describe this book would be "word salad" [Word Salad (verbal salad): Word Salad describes a very jumbled manner of speaking in which words are put together even though they don't form meaningful sentences. For example, a sentence such as "market dog blue asphalt" -- these words all have meaning but not when put together in this fashion. Schozophrenics often display this type of speech.] Thank you, AlleyDog website, for the definition. Although this book was difficult to follow, I am a very stubborn girl. I had to finish. I cannot start something and not see it through. I am glad I did, though. I tell you what.....I got to page 282 out of 290 pages and there was this quote regarding the description of what "love" means to this author. I mean, JACKPOT! So, here goes......My new favorite quote:

"But maybe you have to be a little crazy. Maybe two people have to be a little crazy at the same time. Maybe that's what it takes to transform fantasy into reality. Maybe that's how you find yourself old, gray, and walking down the street holding hands with someone whose life is so completely intertwined with yours that they feel like one and the same. And maybe then you go home, help each other out of your diapers, laugh your heads off, have hot geriatric sex, and top off the night by silently praying to God that the clown lying beside you doesn't screw up your funeral. I don't know. I haven't made it that far yet.
But driving home, I started to think that trying to define being 'in love' was like trying to pick up a loose blob of mercury. I was having a really hard time getting a handle on it and wondering if it was even possible to come up with a universal definition. Ultimately, I just decided that being in love is like skunk juice. People try to describe its smell, but there's no way to accurately describe it. Then one day you're out in the world, you smell something funky, and you think, 'Hey, this is it -- skunk juice!'"

I can't wait for my skunk juice! More later.