Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Mazel Tov!

Today, after Mandy (my new roomie) got off work, I talked her into going on a walk around Golden Gate Park. As it happens, we are able to walk to the park from our apartment. We had already gone about 2 1/2 miles, wandering here and there and enjoying the absolute breathtaking scenery (I still have to pinch myself to remind me that this is my life), when we noticed a rose garden and decided to vear off the path. We noticed a teen approaching on the path ahead of us, but didn't realize he followed behind us into the garden. We were oblivious, enjoying the beauty of all the well-maintained roses in colors you wouldn't believe were imaginable, when the teen approached us. To be honest, he looked like an Amish boy, dressed as above (but picture an older version). Similar in appearance to those I'd seen when we had traveled through Amish Pennsylvania when I was a young girl. He timidly approached us and asked me, "Are you Jewish?". Confused, I told him I wasn't.....(Side note: Now I realize that I'm from the deep South and maybe I'm not as cultured as I would like to think I am, but I'm looking at myself in the mirror tonight and not one iota about me screams Jewish. But I digress.....) He then said, "Oh, okay, can you tell me what time it is?" Now that, my Amish Jewish friend, I can help you with.....Mandy gave him the information. He then thanked us and continued on his way.

As I sit here hours later, I'm still shaking my head and trying to figure out what happened there in that pretty little rose garden and all I can come up with is this.....that no matter what religion you practice, one will never be able to avoid those silly little awkward teenage years, when appropriate social norms and would-be simple conversations can prove to be very allusive little guys.......Lucky for me, they make interesting blog posts (or so I would like to think they do)......

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Things you won't hear in Mississippi, part deux

Hot guy at the Boom Boom Room (speaking of his culture/background): "Yeah. My dad was a member of the Black Panthers.....and my mom is Irish. She was part of the Revolution. They got together and had me."

Me (thinking: "the" Revolution? in, the Beatles' song?), but acting all nonchalant, like meeting the love-child of a hippie, Revolutionary love affair was an everyday occurence: "Oh, okay. Yeah, my background is just French and English.....You want me to speak some French to you? (laughing) Oh, no, I don't actually speak the language. In fact, I've only been to France and England once, but, um......that's my you like football?"

Friday, August 17, 2012

Things you won't hear in Mississippi, part 1

Scenario One

Me (speaking to prospective apartment manager): " know I have two large dogs, right? Is that going to be a problem?"

Apartment manager: "No. Your dogs are fine. But they will have to go through a pet interview."

Me: "Okay, no problem."  (thinking): Are you serious???

Scenario Two

(Passing two employees at the medical center)

Employee 1: "I think I'll have some wheat grass for lunch today."

Employee 2: "Ooohhh! That sounds good!"

Me (pretending not to look surprised, but thinking): Huh?!?!

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Jennifer Anniston'd

I was at a friend's pool the other day, looking at a magazine that was featuring a story on Jennifer Anniston. He leaned over to see what I was looking at.....

Me: "Damn, she has a good body. It sure would be nice to look that good."
Him: "Yeah, well there must be something wrong with her because men always leave her."
Me: "Oh yeah? Well, men always leave me too. I'd at least like to have a good body."
Him: "Oh. I see your point."

Friday, March 5, 2010

That's just wrong

Is it just me, or is it annoying to anyone else when cable companies play commercials for businesses that don't exist in your town? Hey, thanks for showing a Dave & Buster's commercial, but the closest one is SIX HOURS AWAY!!!! I want to "eat, drink, and play" too!! That's just wrong.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Ashy, you say?.....

Sara and I saw this in WalMart last year and I couldn't pass up taking a picture.

So, let me get this straight......Ashy is now a "real" word and not just a UMC-ism? I was baffled and had to get to the root of this word evolution. So, of course,  I googled it.

According to the free online dictionary - ash·y (sh)
      adj. ash·i·er, ash·i·est
      1. Of, relating to, or covered with ashes.
      2. Having the color of ashes; pale.

And then I found the urban dictionary definition (complete with the word used in a sentence, so as not to cause confusion)
       - ashy: When a negro's skin so dry it looks like they a white folk who been workin' in a coal mine.
             Ex. Damn, Sheila skin be ashy.....she need some cocoa butter to moisten up.

.........And I quote. Thanks, WalMart and google.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

God's Property

Seen in a Cracker Barrel parking lot......

And then I zoomed out......

'Nuf said.